Thank You “Donald Trump”

8 min readDec 11, 2020

Photographer: DAVID KOHL/AFP/Getty Images

Some things are hard for me to admit. Take 90’s fashion, for example. I know that it’s vintage, but I don’t want to admit it. The same could be said of Kevin Hart being funny. I’d never say it out loud, but I know it’s true. So you can imagine how much it pains me to write the following and then publish it online. Give me a second while I swallow my pride…I’m thankful for Donald Trump’s presidency.

Now that I’ve finished biting my knuckle, I’ll let you finish calling me a ‘piece of shit’ combined with whatever adjectives you see fit. Settled down, now? OK. So hang with me and I’ll try to get this done fast. Trump’s presidency will teach us the valuable lesson of: Those in power ought not mock those who are not. Our wounded nation has forgotten that important lesson and unfortunately for us, it took someone as ‘special’ as Donald Trump to recall it.

Since the beginning, Trump’s sole motivation for becoming president was to brazenly thumb his nose at the elite. Having never possessed their intelligence nor their pedigree, Donald could only alleviate his hatred for the elite by endlessly demeaning them. His only passion in life has been, by his own admission, to crush those who think they are out of his grasp.

In that light, consider the one trait Donald Trump possessed every single day of his one term in office. Before you blurt out ‘yeah, he was a LIAR, I’ll quickly concede that he did indeed lie 99.99% of the his one (such a lonely number) term in office. I venture to say he did one thing even more often than that. He upset a comfortable establishment. To give that some perspective, he upsets it more than he upsets you.

Why would he want to do that, you might ask. Because he was an outsider of those in possessing real power and he wanted in. When he came knocking to join their club, with his failed casinos and fabulous quaff, they laughed at him, called him a petty reality TV star, and kicked his narcissistic ass to the curb. That was the moment we in America will understand someday as one of our greatest mistakes.

You see, the established powers prior to 2016 had forgotten one very valuable lesson history has tried to teach us. In case you’ve also forgotten, it’s this: Nearly ever despot intent on seizing absolute power in modern history was at one time an outsider of the politically elite. Trump, and on this we will all agree, was not a politician before he decided to become one. In fact, I think his official job title in 2015 was officially listed on his IRS tax forms as “Clearance Item” on America’s Reality TV rack (that’s why he doesn’t want anyone to see them). So what happened?

Donald Trump has happily provided the answer, claiming he really decided to run for president the night he got roasted at the White House Correspondents Dinner (Trump initially thought it was a time share meeting until Obama started speaking). An otherwise harmless psychotic ego had been tarred and feathered in public. It was the ultimate snub for Trump, a lifetime outsider to the globally powerful.

That evening, alone with Melania, I’m certain Trump felt he’d collided with his ‘glass ceiling.’ He’d never be one of the good old boys. Rather than laugh it off, accept it, and ask Melania for a sympathy blow job, he allowed the insults to fester and calcify until they were rotten enough to propel him to the top of his of America’s Establishment. Just so he could piss on it.

Unfortunately for us, becoming President of the United States was the only way to get his revenge. The man who had insulted him that night was Barack Obama. For Trump, the only way he could get even with the man who had mocked him was to become his successor. In the mind of the morally bankrupt, it’s the ultimate payback. (For the record, I’m still glad Obama insulted him, but I wish he’d done it when he was a community organizer.)

From the very beginning of his campaign in 2015, revenge was and has been his only true goal. He wanted those in power to pay, and to regret ever crossing him. To satiate his need for it he’s attempting to tear jagged rifts through our cultural fabric, and use the common man as a weapon in his war against the blue bloods. He ruthlessly uses people as a means to his end, following the ageless recipe of setting pleb versus patrician, the ordinary against the extraordinary. He does so because he still sees himself trapped somewhere in between. The louder he screams, the more the elite ignore him, vilify him, and mock his failures along with his triumphs.

It is only to feed his ego that Trump wakes up each day and squirms his liver-spotted, rotund body into his favorite navy onesie and its oversized tie, sharpens his crayons, and gets hard at work to ruin our country. We are fortunate that he wasn’t truly ambitious and couldn’t move beyond petulant fighting. Be thankful as well that he isn’t the caliber of sore loser as other men, like Hitler was about Germany losing WWI. Trump didn’t set his sights that high and thankfully history will only remember him as the first sitting president since 90’s fashion wasn’t vintage to lose re-election in landslide fashion.

So, America, the next time the have’s think its funny to disparage the have not’s, please don’t laugh at it. You never know who might take it personally.

Thank You “Donald Trump”

Written by Gulbadin Naib